Here are some of the Funny Getting Older Jokes we gathered at AgelessFx. Its a work in progress, we'll add 'em as we see 'em. You'll find them on several "Joke" pages as well as scattered around our website.
We know its serious business trying to look and feel younger and some days frustrating trying to get that look "just right". We work hard to bring you the best anti-aging skincare, supplements and energy products..
But you know what they say "All work and no play..."
To relieve the serious side of the business (hey, growing older gracefully is work!), we present these Funny Getting Older Jokes so that you can step back, and laugh a little about something we don't have any control over.
"About the only thing that comes to him who waits - is old age"... -but some of us are going to go down fighting
If laughter is the best medicine, then join me in a chuckle. And don't forget, add your funny getting older jokes, quote or one-liner at the bottom of this page. Help us get a good laugh and make a few new friends.
P.S. We've hidden jokes on aging throughout our website pages as well. We find it makes working here more enjoyable.
There's one good thing about growing old. If you watch a movie that you have seen before but, you do not remember it. You can watch it like its the first time again!
Thanks Donnie Grey, Greensburg, Indiana, Decatur.
Like a baby...
Sam and Louis lived in a retirement home. One day they were sitting in the lounge, and Sam turned to Louis and said, “Louis, I’m ninety years old, and I’m full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Louis replied, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really? Like a baby?” Sam asked, puzzled.
“Yes,” replied Louis, “I’ve got no hair, no teeth—and I think I just wet myself.”
Thanks Sam! from NH
I attended a wedding the other day with my granddaughter and as we were following the crowd in for the reception, my granddaughter observed that my slip was showing. She quietly whispered "Grandma it's snowing down south!!!"
I whispered back "Darling, Grandma is just grateful that it's not raining!!!"
- Thanks Barb! from MS
Grandma to her Grand Daughter,"Here is my advice, l have no use for it now."
-S M Moodley, from South Africa, Thanks!
With Age Comes Experience:
The sad thing about experience is that by the time you have it, nobody wants it!
Thanks Harry Pennington
You think you're getting older when:
By the time:
By the time you can afford to eat anything you want... you can no longer eat anything you want!
Thank you: Ernie Wright
Lake Norman, NC
You know you're getting older when you look in the mirror and say,
Thanks to: Barney Vinson
Las Vegas, NV
At my age....when I see a pretty young woman,
I wonder what her mom looks like
Contributed by & Thanks to:
Brad Prather, Port Ludlow, WA
Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks
You know you're getting older when you've run out of things to learn the hard way
Contributed by & Thanks to: Ronald Howard Riverton, Wyoming
Older than Dirt
I've heard some people say that my dad is older than dirt. Not true, he discovered it!
Thanks Dave Doty, Lake Placid, FL
You know you're getting older when you've heard yourself say, "Because I told you so!"
There are 3 Ages of Man: youth, middle age, and you look good!
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3-inch floppy . . . You just hoped nobody ever found out!
When your joints are more accurate than the weatherman's, you know you're getting older!
"Inside every 70-year-old is a 35-year-old asking, 'What happened?'" --Ann Landers
"The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older." --Doug Larson
"Old age is always 15 years older than I am." --Bernard Baruch
More funny getting older jokes continue below...
You know you're getting old when you need a vacation, from your vacation!
The dangerous age is anywhere between one and ninety-nine
Our aim in life improves as we grow older, but it seems that we soon run out of ammunition
Some people are like plants, some go to seed with age, and others just go to pot
You have arrived at old age when all you can put your teeth into... is a glass
You know you're getting older when it takes you longer to get over having a good time than it took to have it!
Darn, old age is unpredictable. One morning you wake up.. and there you have it
You're getting older when you are on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does
Children are a comfort to us in old age, and they'll help us reach it faster, too!
Growing older is when you really learn what the statue of limitations is all about
You just can't win. When you get too old for pimples, you go right into wrinkles!
There are 3 things that indicate you are getting older, first there is loss of memory....... ......
The worse thing about growing old is having to listen to the advise of one's children
Does it take you longer to rest than it did to get tired?
You're getting older when the girl you just smiled at thinks you are one of her father's friends
Remember when you saved up for old age? Now you just save up for April 15th
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old. It's knowing that he's married to a grandmother
You are getting older when you remember when a girl with hidden charms, hid them.
Do you have a funny Getting Older Joke? Use the form below and send it to me!
Breaking Up Thanks to: Rulie Folsom
My daughter came home crying one night "Oh mom we broke up" she cried , "or actually he broke up with me." I'm not too old to remember a broken heart, so I put my arm around her and assured her that her heart would mend in time."
Then she said...
"Oh, I don't really care that we broke up, its just that i wanted to be the one to do it!"
An Idaho man said, "At my age, by the time I find temptation, I'm too tired to give in to it."
George Burns once said, "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."
An aging gentleman in the hospital refused to eat a bowl of jello. He told the nurse, "I'm not going to eat anything that's more nervous than I am."
"I'm not saying she's getting older, but when she lit the candles on her birthday cake, five people passed out from heat exhaustion."
An antique dealer told me, "Age is what makes furniture worth more and people worth less."
Grandpa said, "By the time a man finds greener pastures, he's too old to climb the fence."
Growing older is when, "You're too old for castor oil and too young for Geritol."
My secretary says that, "Some people grow up and spread cheer; others just grow up and spread."
George Burns used to get a standing ovation just for walking up on stage. It was confusing to him. He said, "All it took for me to get here, was a little time."
More Customer Sent 'Funny Getting Older' Jokes are Below the Comment Boxes... Scroll down to the Links.
Share YOUR funny getting older jokes, quotes and one-liners below. They will be added at the end of this page as links and open in their own page. Come on, show us that we have to grow old - but don't have to grow up!
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Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Birthday Jokes, Another Birthday?
We'll start this page off with a few birthday jokes from our viewers. So if you have any to add... you know what to do! Birthday joke from Dan C. Corley …
You know you're getting older when you look in the mirror and say, "Dad?"
Birthdays Not rated yet
I don't celebrate birthdays anymore. I am so absent minded that I don't remember when I was born. The last time I had a birthday cake it set off …
Loosing your memory! Not rated yet
I am losing my memory. The other morning I was sitting on the edge of the bed, unshaven, with my head in my hands trying to wake up and my wife walks …
Old as dirt Not rated yet
Some say my Dad is as old as dirt. Wrong! He discovered it.
3 sisters who had lived together for a number of years Not rated yet
Their ages were 92, 94 and 97. One night, the 97-year-old drew her bath, got half-way in and then stopped. Finally she yelled out, “Was I getting in or …
Don't forget to send us your Funny Getting Older Jokes, Stories, Quotes or One-Liners. We like to sprinkle them throughout our website because... well... skincare and healthcare needs a sense of humor. Don't you agree?
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